“I would rather DIE than be doing this,” I thought to myself.
Overdramatic, extremist and hyperbolic as usual.
I was driving to talk to an accountant for my budding yarn business and was petrified.
This was a few years back when I was just getting started.
I needed an accountant. To continue on with my dream of growing my lil’ baby biz, I NEEDED an accountant.
But for whatever insane reason, my mind had created the idea that accountants were mean, old men plopped behind their massive desks, glaring at me through beady, suspicious eyes. Think, Jabba the Hutt.
I was sure I’d be interrogated, ridiculed, laughed to scorn. Everyone in the office would surely point at me, kick me to the curb and crawl back into their cubicles with sneers on their impish faces.
Oh, wonderful mind. What a creative little trickster you are.
As I drove to the office, shaking in my boots, all of these irrational thoughts were running through my mind, and I would have given anything to NOT NOT NOT have to be doing THAT errand at that moment. But it needed done. And so I drove.
Upon entering the office, I was greeted by the sweetest receptionist and lead into meet “the accountant.”
Her name was Heather. And she was most certainly NOT a mean, old man. HA HA!! She was ultra helpful and patient and completely dispelled my unfounded beliefs about accountants. And all was well.
If you’re one of those souls who has no fear and faces life with ease and glee and sheer delight on a constant basis, then hurray! What a blessed thing. I wish I could get to that point.
….
But to this DAY I still feel random, crazy crap. Usually in the quiet of the night when not much can be done about it.
Common fears I’ve had:
“What if my business fails and I end up starving and freezing to death in a ditch?”
“What if all of my family and friends die and I’m left alone, unable to emotionally cope?”
“What if I end up an old lady, alone and afraid, left to knit in the corner of a nursing home and await my impending death?”
“What if somebody says something MEAN to me on social media?”
“What if I can’t pay my mortgage?”
And yes, the really absurd fears that make no sense, like my fear of driving.
My dread of going to stores alone. Afterall, people are LOOKING at me. Gah!!
And you know what? None of those things are TRUE. None of them are REAL. They don’t exist. They are simply wisps passing through my mind. And as for people being mean, whatever. That’s their thing, not mine.
Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love likes to say that fear is a compass showing you where to go.Â
That has been massively helpful to me.
When I’m really lost, I always remind myself: “I won’t always feel this way.” Sometimes that is the only hope I can find. And then I pet the porch cat. (Anybody want a sweet, cuddly love bug? She needs a home.)
It’s okay to dream. It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to want challenge and growth and creativity and joy and all the wonder that comes from trying on a new dream and seeing how it fits.
And it’s okay to feel afraid EVERY DAY. What if, what if, what if?
In my brightest of moments I realize…
SO WHAT? So what if it all goes to pot? So what if I hit rock bottom? So what? Life goes on. The world keeps turning. And I know I will NOT let myself down. I will always pull myself up by my bootstraps, find the strength to go on and build an even more fabulous life from the rubble of before.
I was talking to a friend the other day who was wanting to try something new but was afraid of failing. Afraid of what others might think. Afraid of sticking her neck out there only to get hurt.
Truth be told, like my mama likes to say, “Where there are oxen, there will be poop.”
You just have to be willing to endure that little bit of poo for the rewards of your dream.
There will be ups. There will be some down days.
People might say bad things about what you’re trying to do. Do it anyway.
You might “fail.” But know that you never truly CAN fail because you’ll have learned and you can try again another day and adjust your sails.
A great trick is to set a definite money and time budget and just consider the whole thing an experiment. Then you can’t “fail!” It was just an experiment.Â
We can live unfulfilled lives, with our dreams still twisted, sore knots in our chest.
Or we can push past our own barriers, TRY it and just see… see what happens.
You never know where this new path may lead.
But at least you’ll have released the dream bird inside of you to fly where she may.
When the dream bird starts to sing in your heart, listen to her song. Let her free. Follow her.
It’s your call. You can keep her caged or you can let her fly. It’s all worth it in the end. You either achieve what you set out to achieve or you shoot off in another direction. But those dreams guide us along our path and are so so so worth following.
And remember, none of this has ANYTHINGÂ to do with what others may think. Or say. Let them judge. Let those who sit in the comfort of their living rooms, spewing cynicism at every soul who’s living their dream, sit. Let them spew. But don’t let them hold YOU back.
And don’t let YOU hold you back.
Onward and upward with your dreams!
Chandi
Sometimes dreams come true, and when they do its worth all the worry and scary thoughts that go along with it. Glad you pursued your dream.
Carol
True! Thanks, Carol!
I know this has to do with running your own business, but I’m struggling through a personal problem now and reading this was very uplifting to me. I have spent a long time thinking, being fearful.=, with those knots in my chest. Hearing that song in my heart and wanting to set it free. But failing means losing more than just money. I feel so much better, like a different person than I was a month ago when all this started. I am hoping this situation will be done soon. Regardless- thank you for posting this. I feel better.
Finn, not sure what your issue right now is, but I relate. I’ve been in very VERY scary situations in the past, which had nothing to do with money and it’s just horrriblllee. Life in general can be terrifying, especially if you have a big decision to make. Especially if that decision might affect others. Blessings to you, dear, and hopes that all is resolved to your heart’s content.
Life is good ! ? Not always perfect ! Live your dreams ! ???
“And don’t let YOU hold you back.” That is the most important thing to remember while pursuing your dream.
Chandi, so glad that you forged ahead through your fears! Whenever you have those little fears in the night… never forget what a beautiful, extremely talented, courageous woman you are!
You are not alone with those groundless fears. I’m an attorney and always get butterflies before walking into Court. Then they go away once the case starts.
BTW… glad you got over the fear of accountant. My husband is C.P.A. and he is the sweetest, most laid-back guy.
Oh thank you so much, Humberta!! I never knew you were an attorney! That is AWESOME! And so funny about your hubby! Good to know my fears were totally WRONG. 🙂
Oh Chandi, how you’ve really touched me with this blog post….I always enjoy your writing but today, today you really spoke to my heart.
Last year I was abruptly ‘downsized’, it came as quite a shock and left me quite paralyzed with fear. I had spent the previous nine years working daily with network engineers in various capacities and knew in my heart that was my calling but fear was standing in my way–fear of failing, fear of being outmatched in a male dominated industry but mostly fear of letting everyone (myself included) down. Out of the ashes rises the Phoenix and just like that Phoenix, with the extreme support of my hubby (and kiddos) and uncountable late nights studying, I rose out and upward. I accomplished the certification I had been dreaming of for years–actually I well surpassed my initial goal leaving me with a higher level of certification than all of the engineers I had previously worked with. I am now in a new job I absolutely LOVE, working with some of the most amazingly intelligent people and doing SO much more than I would have ever been exposed to in my previous job! I still can’t believe how much I truly enjoy what I do. I finally understand the saying ‘do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.’
I almost let that fear of the unknown, that fear of failing…just FEAR in general, overcome me but there really is nothing to fear… we are all amazing, strong, fabulous creatures who are stronger than we could have ever imagined. We got this!
Thanks for reminding me fear is what got me to the happiness I have today!
JenMarie
Wonderful insights! You are very connected to your inner being, I congratulate you!
Those scary thoughts, just say hello and let them go on the breeze!
You are so powerful and I admire your achievements!
Wanda
All these fears you experience I know all too well. I experience them almost on a daily basis. They can be debilitating but once we get past them, we greet each new day with a bit more compassion for ourselves, confidence in our goals and find ourselves filled with gratitude to be given another day to do what we love to do most.
Love your yarn goodies and all the wonderful and personal videos you do. You be you! (Y)
~Heather
Dearest, you are young and have your life ahead of you. It is only natural to have concerns and worries. Nevertheless, make it your goal not to allow worries to overwhelm you. The only advise I could share with you is the one that has worked for me. It is the advise Jesus gave in his sermon on the mount recorded in the Bible Gospel of Matthew chapter 6 and verse 27, which says: “Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?” Then on verse 31 and 32 he continues: “So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to wear?’ For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.” His final advise was as follows in verses 33 and 34: ” Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you. So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.” So you see, we will have anxieties and worries, and yes, we should be concern with our personal care. However, these things should not rob us of joy. Instead, by putting our trust in God and his kingdom, he will bless us. When you get a chance read that chapter, you will love it. You are so darling and sweet. Take deep breaths and keep on forward. I always look forward to see what color combinations you’ve come up with. You certainly have an eye for color.
PS…. I love your porch cat. I have 4 cats. I cannot take in anymore at this time. But he is so cute! And those photos of you, wow. You look great.
Chandi
From the moment I started following your posts, I have known you were an inspiration. Always continue to write to us about your feelings – before during and after your dreams. It encourages me to continue to stretch and grow . I have a big decision to make this week and it’s about a dream and at a time in life when I should be sitting back and relaxing. Instead I am about to step into a venture that will be far from relaxing and nowhere near “retiring”. But ohhhh so much fun, and excitement and everything I have dreamed of all wrapped up in one — I just have to get brave enough to take the first step out onto the limb of the branch of the top of that tree…. LOL. Thanks for sharing. You are genuine, beautiful and truly yourself. Dorothy
Welcome to my world! Enjoy yours cuz when yoiu reach OLD(I’m 70) all that’s left is the corner in the nursing home knitting and waiting for death
Hi Chandi,
Appreciated reading your blog today. Thankyou for your openness. I have gone through dark times in my life but I learned to stay positive and push through. My husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour in November 1999 and passed away August 2001. I had three kids and was all on my own (my parents lived a ferry ride and a couple of hours drive away) but I learned to take one day at a time. Anyways, to make a long story short, I got remarried two years later, gained two stepchildren and now have been married for 12 years. It was hard to imagine at that time, how my life would be now. But I have been very blessed!
Love Bridget
P.S. I work part time in a wool shop and get paid to knit when I don’t have customers. I have a great job!
Thanks Chandi, that was exactally what I needed to hear on a day like today. 🙂
Thank you for sharing! I am subject to the same fears, the going in alone is my worst nightmare. Crazy, I work retail and help customers all day long. Oh well, at least I don’t feel alone anymore! Sending a hug & positive thoughts to you, Lona in Texas
Dear Chandi- you’re message is definitely hitting home with me. I needed to read this…it seems to be the message of the day. Thank you. ?
Hello Chandi
Nice to meet you via blog…. I have seen your gorgeous yarn on FB and always love the colour combo you create. It is stunning what you come up with plus the pictures you add next to it! Well done!
I was interested to read your blogpost. Like you I am a small biz owner… and I have the same fear, ideas, scary nightmares about my biz like you. It was a great feeling to find out I am not crazy it;s normal and there are people out there that are in the same boat with me.
Thank you for this inspirational blogpost!
XO,
Lorena
What a lovely lady you are Chandi.
I brought a little business I knew I would love, it involved my passion of all things knitting! I had an Accountant lined up at the beginning due to other work I did.
On receiving the details he promptly called me and told me “there is no value in this business” I was floored. My little business has grown and I now own a retail outlet and I organise hand made markets at different venues. There is a now a proposed 2nd shop. I certainly have all the same things in my head. Put your passion out to the universe!
I purchased your ebook and it is my bible.
I told my ex Accountant my tiny business is very valuable to me!!! and he agreed.
Tread your own path dear ladyx
I really needed to read this this post… Thank you!
Just what I needed to read today! Sometimes it’s all too much and I find myself counting difficulties instead of blessings. Your blogpost is so inspirational and there’s no doubt that it comes from your heart, soul and mind working together. Today there is no room for phantom problems; today I will work on a dream. Thank you.
Perfect words at a perfect time. Thank you. And by the way, I think the porch cat has already found a loving home. She dreamed of the perfect home, released the dream bird inside her and it flew her to your porch…for a reason. She’s home now.
Ha ha!! That is a great point. She’s a dear.
hI C?handi, I took a lot from your post today. a stroke has left me upended. People all say how well I am doing and that I am brave and look good. I smile and thank them. But, inside I am terrified it could happen again. It was the struggle of my life and I do try to stay positive. My first great grandchild is due in April so more baby things coming up. Have a great day . Love, gail
Lots of love to you, Gail! Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!
Reading this first thing this morning really made my day. I so needed the boost. THANKS!
I just found this post today, and I’m sitting here crying and laughing over the insane idea that popped in my head. You see, my marriage is falling apart. We have two children and I’ve been a stay-at-home Mom for the past four years. I’ve done all I can to save things, but I’m no longer sure that’s possible. So the need to support myself is suddenly forefront in my mind. But I do NOT want to re-enter the traditional workforce. I did that for eight years, and am pretty sure a piece of my soul is still in recovery. I’m a creative person. I am addicted to your yarns, I love to crochet and recently learned to knit. I sell Jamberry wraps now. And I adore cooking and baking. Oh, and I’m a yoga addict. And while fear of failure is a big problem of mine, another is how on earth do I choose just one? Just one thing to occupy my days? One thing that will support my and my children’s futures? I mean, only a crazy person would think to open a lunch cafe, where her patrons are surrounded by yarn and handmade pieces available for purchase, and run yoga classes in the mornings and evenings. Right?! I wonder….
You make my day. Everyday!?
Vulnerability is a beautiful, and rare, quality. I’m grateful to have found you a few years ago, and to get to watch your journey evolve. VERY grateful that your dreams came true and that I can help support them (and my addiction) by purchasing your beautiful yarn. I pray that I can find the courage and strength to pursue my own dreams. Only the Lord knows what is in store for my future, but I pray that I attempt my dreams with all my heart and if I don’t succeed at making them come true, that I find a new dream- not lesser, just different.
Thanks for the inspiration, both mentally and in the best yarny way 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with us Chandi. I’m in a place where I know I need to make important changes and not hold myself back due to fear. I don’t want to look back and have regrets. I love the business you’ve created and how you and your hubby work as a team as it continues to grow. Best wishes and hopefully morn yarn than you can imagine :).
I love your yarn. Found out about the contest in fb.
I know that this post is old, but i really needed to read this. Thank you Chandi.